Fruitful Words

Broken dreams on dotted lines

Sign your past away
This is yours and that is mine
So the papers say
How can you move on so quickly?
How can you heal so fast?
What will I do with my mornings?
What will I do with my nights?

How can I start all over?

Knowing we’re less than friends
Why is it the simple truths are hardest to believe?
You want answers I can’t give
You want words I don’t know
Ask me when I’m through getting over you

After this day is over

How can my dreams go on?
What will I do with my mornings?
What will I do with my nights?
You want answers I can’t give
You want words I don’t know
Ask me when I’m through getting over you

Ask me when I’m through getting over you.

I wrote the above poem several years after signing the divorce papers. The pain (of the divorce) is now 6 years old. And yes, it still hurts. Mostly now in infrequent floods rather than like a consistent, festering wound.

Today is the 26th anniversary of getting married. I’m part of the statistic that didn’t stay married. That makes me sad . . . . for myself, the kiddos, affected family/friends and even for him.

But praise God, He does take the wreckage and refashions a new life. I’m still working out the kinks in this new life. So are the kiddos. Evidently he is happy.

I’m not happy per se, but I am at peace knowing I have a Father and God who will never abandon me or my children . . . . no matter what . . . . Never. And that He made me and my children (and him) for a good purpose.

I am trying to live out that good purpose. . . . with some joy, lots of integrity, and faith that I’ll see the good thing from this awful event. (See Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28.)

I loved summer camp as a kid. I went to camp as a Scout and through the YMCA. I have memories of horseback riding, archery, working on/completing badges, crafting, hikes, water play and of course campfire time of scorching marshmallows, singing and skits.

I just read this article on how to start your own kids summer camp. I know that SI and her kiddos go to Cousin camp. Many of the local church kids will be going to either/or Sports camp and Youth camp.

I want to go to camp. But I don’t know what I’d like to do for that week.

Camps have activities so I’ll start there. Here are some ideas . . . .

1. In-depth training for walking a half-marathon in October.
2. Create a healthy menu and shopping plan for 3 months.
3. Cook up some nutritious and inexpensive meals for my small freezer.
4. Make a bean bag bed for Chip. I have sunshine yellow fleece material. I just need some beads.
5. Make a jeans purse. Robbie made a cute one for retreat.
6. Create 4 different types of cards and participate in a swap.
7. Create an inexpensive water garden.
8. Learn how to make home made refried beans and tortillas.
9. Make a log cabin quilt in a day.
10. Have a tea party with some healthy foods and yummy teas all decked out in hats and feather boas.
11. Learn some magic tricks.
12. Show off tricks at a Talent Show.
13. Read a book and then discuss it with a group. Do something tangible (craft, action, ?) afterwards (as a group).
14. Go on a scavenger hunt.
15. Go on a movable meal (Appetizer in one place, salad in another, main course in yet another place, etc.)
16. Use my camera and take 5 good, printable pictures each day for a week. Print them.
17. Make 5 scrapbook BOM pages. At least plan them.
18. Hook my old laptop to a monitor and retrieve all the files. Especially my scrapbook layouts.
19. Create an outdoor maze. Do some computer or paper mazes as well.
20. Play croquet. Have wacky prizes for the winners.
21. Make ice cream. Have an ice cream making contest.
22. BBQ something I’ve never BBQ’ed before.
23. Go play miniature golf. Or create my own course and invite others over. Or better yet, have others help me with this.
24. Decorate a journal.
25. Get a reflexology foot massage. Then paint ‘em purty.
26. Design and make women’s tea favor for 2009.
27. Plan a winter garden.
28. Paint something: a wall, tole project, stationary, front door.
29. Dye my hair a fun color.
30. Go on a walking tour of my town.
31. Have a movie fest: get 3-4 movies from red box,some healthy snacks, a friend of two.
32. Learn to do 2 new things on my blog.
33. Participate in sing thing - maybe around a camp fire and pass out the makings for s’mores.
34. Go tubing down the American River.
35. Go to a women’s game night.
36. Organize a regular Bunko night in my neighborhood.
37. Fast track through a 6 week video Bible study in 6 days.
38. Learn about investing; join an investing group.
39. Attend seminar on IRAs. Figure out how to fund one this year.
40. Go to Crocker Art museum. Create art once home.
41. Plan my funeral.
42. Finish my knitted wash cloth. I probably should re-do it as I’ve dropped some stitches. Then learn how to knit some baby things.
43. Spanish camp.
44. Slumber crafting party.

How about you? Wanna go to camp too? What would you put on your list?

Maybe we can combine some ideas and actually do a few of these things in one week. Like in mid-to-late July. Or am I just6 pie-in-the sky dreaming here.

Go here for 3 months worth of fun stuff to do.

Women’s Retreat (last weekend) and finals (done on the June 25th) have taken more of my time than I realized. More energy too. I am grateful that I have some women who surround me in prayer, good advice, and godly examples. It’s hard to get away with much with them around. Thank you, God.

I’ve crossed off a few more items from the list I made in honor of my 50th birthday.

From the Events List I’ve done the following:

• Found out my FICO score. Go here to see what this all about. There is a house for sale right on the corner of LG’s street. I said to myself, “I could see me living here.” It’s a good price and thought I’d best check out my FICO score - which is good. After checking with a friend who is a mortgage broker, I decided now is not the time as income (too little) is a factor.
  
• Told one joke publicly - at retreat last week. In fact, I rigged the Getting To Know You Bingo game. I put Willing to tell a joke now as one of the squares. That way if it came up, I’d be “forced” to tell it, if I wanted the square. Since I am competitive, I wanted the square.
• Checked out language schools abroad. I might do this instead of going on a Missions trip next year. I want to become fluent in Spanish and think that such a program would be helpful and fun and nerve-wracking. 4-5 hours a day of Spanish instruction and living with a Spanish-speaking host family will definitely sharpern my skills. Some of the programs also offer lessons in other things like, history, literature, sailing, surfing, scuba, and flamenco dancing. Scuba is so been-there-done that, BUT flamenco dancing or sailing has an appeal. Can you just imagine ME, who can’t clap and sing at the same time or or walk-and-talk without injury doing either one of these things?

Now on to the Habits list:

• Chip is so perky these days regular walks are a must. He demands them, sometimes several times a day. His dental appointment cleared up his teeth issues and pain meds are taking care of the arthritis in his hips. It does my heart good to see “my old man” doing so well.
• Crafty thing for June was doing the finish work on the bed treats for retreat. To those of you who went to retreat, aren’t they the cutest things you’ve ever seen? Maybe I’ll get someone to show me how to put a picture of them here. Or maybe Lynette or TJKnits will post of picture on their blogs and I’ll link to them.
• Bedtime is still about 11 pm instead of 10 pm.

I guess this isn’t too bad of a list. How’s it going with you?

Spending the weekend with 46 ladies in beautiful Lake Tahoe learning about spiritual disciplines was fun, challenging, growing, tiring, and worth every minute. The time away provided me with the opportunity to …

• Learn from 2 gifted communicators
• Engage in worship under the direction of a unified, talented team
• Hear others’ insights
• Laugh, worry, pray, and discuss
• Enhance my relationships

I came away with the idea that spiritual disciplines are relationship connectors. They help me to connect in a deeper, more meaningful way with God, myself and the community (called the church).

I came away with the idea that even though I am so flawed, God desires to and does work in and through me.

I came away with the idea that my girlfriends help keep me balanced through their reprimands, prayers, acceptance, and godly examples.

My thoughts are still swirling and will land soon. That’s when I’ll be able to assess what my next steps are.

I do know that I am so grateful for the time, energy and talent that so many ladies gave to make this retreat a success. In fact, I believe that includes each woman. Each woman gave something of herself to make this retreat a connecting time. Thank you all.

My daughter sculpted a caveman tattoo kit from clay for a History Channel program about tattooing.

The program airs July 14th, 9 pm Eastern on the History Channel. Anybody have cable that can tape this for me?

Go here to see more views.

I’m one proud mama.

*Spoiler Alert* If you are going to Women’s Retreat 2008 do NOT read any further. Otherwise you will read about Friday night’s Bingo icebreaker game.

Everyone else may continue reading . . .

(more…)

I just visited google.com and do you know what day it is today (for another 45 minutes anyway)? First Hot Air Balloon Day!!!

My sista took the above shot. Go here to see more.

Edited to add: I was wrong. The day is today, June 4. HItSearch wrote this,

“A man-made craft flew for the first time on June 4, 1783. Invented by the Montgolfier brothers, this aérostat was a huge hot-air balloon made of paper and cloth that drifted for more than a mile and landed after 10 minutes.” Go here to for the rest of the blurb about hot air balloons.

There are only 2,780,000 hits for first hot air balloon.

I wish I had time to read even some of these entries, but I truly need to get to bed. Maybe I’ll be able to do some research for next year. And as part of that research I’ll just have to go on another hot air balloon ride. Wanna come?

Guess what book I found last week while weeding out some books? The Mystery Of The Hot Air Balloon by Gertrude Chandler Warner. (There are some for sale for as little as one penny.) This is a Boxcar Children book. Of course I sneaked in the time to read this quick-read book.

I even learned two things from the book about hot air balloons.

• One competitive race is called, Hare and Hounds. One balloon is chosen (by lottery) to be the “hare;” it takes off first and then lands. The “hounds” follow. Whoever lands closest to the hare wins.
• Soo Lee, the cousin of the Boxcar children asked, “Why do the balloonists like to fly so early?’ She was told that “dawn and sunset are the best times {because} the sun has an effect on the wind…During the middle of the day, the breezes are usually too strong” (p. 115).

My own hot air balloon ride did not involve a mystery or surprise landing (as found in The 21 Balloons). But it did involve a love story, generosity, and sacrifice. That makes for a good read (and life) - don’t you think?

1. I cannot read and walk on the treadmill at the same time. Things go flying - First the book and then me.
2. Going from the setting of 2 to 6 on the treadmill is not a great idea. Things fly again - this time no book though.
3. The older I get the more I appreciate my sister as a sister, friend & woman. Not only do I LIKE her, but I’m very proud of her as well. I am so sorry for all the times I purposefully made her miserable. Mama’s don’t let your babies tease each other. Otherwise there’s a world of regret just waiting to unload in the adult years.
4. I love doing crafts. This past week its been finishing work on the Retreat bed treats. I was allowed to do the non-technical stuff - I sewed on a flower and a bead. That’s all you’ll get out of me. But, I’m positive you Retreat ladies will like it - A LOT!
5. I eat better when my roomie is around. Roomie is a great example. She exercises (regularly ON THE treadmill) AND eats 3 healthy meals EACH day. Sometimes she cooks for me too. She comes home tomorrow so my sabbatical from healthy food is almost over. Better eat up the Little Caesar’s pizza and M&M’s tonight. And throw away the dead veggies in the fridge.
6. One day, a 24 hour period, really cannot have two different dates assigned to it. Despite all logical thinking, in my brain it can be May 31st in the morning and June 1st from 2-4 pm. Too bad no-one else thought that. I sang Happy Birthday to my daughter this am (on time) and went to a graduation party this afternoon which I knew was on June 1st (24 hours early!).
7. Wishful thinking does not get papers written. So tonight I’ll be eating pizza and M&M’s and working on a paper. Just think, next YEAR this time I’ll be 3 weeks away from receiving my MA.

How has your week shaped up and what did you learn?

Life is whirlwind busy - I missed posting summaries for Weeks 8 & 9.

During these weeks I did the following:

• Downloaded the doctrinal questionnaire to become a licensed CM&A worker. This questionnaire IS A long and hairy beast to complete. I have sent out requests for transcripts and recommendations. I still need to complete the doctrinal questions.
• Scheduled an appointment with my seminary advisory. We figured out the classes (about 11) that I need to complete in order to graduate June 20th, 2009!!!
• Planned a camping trip for July 27-30th at Lake Tahoe with some of mi familia.
• Did 4 Random Acts of Kindness: (1) Did someone’s job before he could - cleaned up the Sunday coffee area (2) Did a friend’s dishes when she was gone from the house (3) Gave $20 to a friend so she could buy a birthday gift for someone. (4) Sent a funny get well card to a child I do not know. I am not telling you these things to brag, but so that it could spark some ideas for you, in case you want to do your own RAK’s. Go here for more ideas.
  
• Spent several hours at Ocean Beach with my daughter. It was overcast and cold. First time I ever walked on the beach with my shoes on. We collected dozens of sand dollars.
• Special time with my daughter - spent the evening at the opening of her first juried art show. Lots of great student art to appreciate. The best part of the evening was that my daughter won “Best Installation.” Go here to read her post titled, “I Won.”
• Crafty thing for May was making corsage pens for women at church for Mother’s Day. We made corsages with silk flowers that were red, pink and white and then attached them to pens Go here for instructions to make a pen with a sunflower.
• Chip and I picked up trash. Plus we went on many walks together.
• God sent extra money so I could tithe to the Building Fund and Missions general budget or special projects.
• Joined Facebook and Twitter - both of these are outside my “internet” comfort zone.

What have you been busy with that will make 2008 a year to remember?

Go here to read about the history of my 51 Things List.

Since joining Facebook I’ve had a small flurry of emails letting me know that . . . .

• “Jene” has confirmed me as a friend
• “Jon” added me as a friend
• “Jasmine” requests that I be her friend
• “Jamal” asks that I confirm or deny that we are related

Yesterday I received an email that made me scream out loud, “No Way!” It was a friend request from a classmate in high school. I haven’t talked to her in, well, too many decades. I look forward to catching up and hearing about her life since our last reunion party which was probably for the 15th year.

As I looked over her friend list, I saw the name and picture of Mickey, one of my best high school buds. I had lost contact with her many decades ago too. Of course I put in my own friend request late last night.

• At 6:45 am I checked to see if she had responded yet. NO.
• At 7:10 am, still NO.
• By 7:30 am she hadn’t friended me yet.

Okay. I’m turning off the technology and getting on with my real life. I have a few things to do before going to a conference with some work mates. (Doesn’t that sound so professional?)

But wait, one last look. But alas, still NO email friend confirmation. This waiting is gonna be hard on my curiosity. And my imagination because I’m thinking, “Maybe she doesn’t want to be my friend and that’s why I haven’t heard from her yet.” Yes, part of me realizes that it is still before 8 am in her part of the world.

I don’t do rejection well. It seems like Facebook has the potential to bring a lot my way. What am I setting myself up for?

BTW - anyone from Peter Pond High School know where Char is? I’d like to send her a friend request too.