4 Ways Grief Has Changed My Beliefs

The loss (divorce) which brought on this grief first led me into hiding and then into discovering who I am. Grief has forced me to look at my beliefs.

Here are 4 ways grief has changed my beliefs.

1.  I am learning that while some people cannot be trusted, God can be trusted . . . despite what the circumstances look like. I’ve been knocked down into the deepest grief I’ve ever felt and I am returning to joy. God has provided my needs for emotional support, finances, housing, and a direction for the future. God doesn’t have a hidden agenda. He will never leave me, forget me or abandon me.
2. I’m (mostly) ok with my “why” questions not being answered. I previously thought that since God didn’t answer my “why” questions, He must not be trustworthy. I struggled with this untruth for decades. I don’t know all the details to God’s plan for mankind as a whole and as individuals. But I do know that He has a plan that cannot be thwarted. And for Believers, good will come out of it.
3. Knowing when to ask for help is healthy. Asking for help doesn’ t mean I’m weak, silly, or dumb. It means I’m human. It means I am acting how God made humans to act. We are made to encourage one another, pray for one another and help one another with our giftings, time, and money.
4. I choose life. The constancy of my grief finally pushed me to make a decision. Will I stay in the fetal position of defeat and pain or will I get up and move on into God’s good plan for my future? Death of life? I choose life.

How has grief changed you?

Below are some helpful resources.

• This song (Praise You in the Storm) soothes me and reminds me Who is my help when I’m grieving.
• Go here to read the Widow’s Quest post that prompted my thoughts. This post is about how Grief Changes You.
• Here is a pdf document on coping with grief.

Creating Folders (Labels) in Gmail

This post is for Kay because she asked. This also makes a great Works-For-Me Wednesday post. Go here for other WFMW submissions. I’m #99.

See the grey Search the Web tab (top middle of Google inbox page)?

• To the right of this grey button, in tiny print, it says Show research options (top line) And create filter (second line).
• Click on create filter.

• In the From box put either an email addy or name.
• Click the grey Test Search button to make sure it grabs the emails you want. I.e. I typed your name, Kay, and 3 came up.
• Click the grey button  Next Step.

There are 8 possible boxes to click.

I clicked (put a check mark in) 3 of them:

• Skip the Inbox (archive it)
• Apply the Label:  in the white box to the right it says Choose Label. Either write a name for the label (name for a folder) or click on one already there. I.e. I wrote in your name, Kay.
• Click on OK.
• Also apply filter to # conversation below. ( I had 3 from the search with your name.)
• Then I clicked on the grey Create filter button.

This last action will take you to your Settings page and show you The following filters are applied to all incoming mail.

 

Ta-Da! Folders in Gmail. Although in gmail they are called labels.

 Go to this link for Google’s description of the above or go here for an audio tutorial.

 

My daughter showed me how to do this. I had already written up my instructions before I went to the Google link above.

18 Things I’m Grateful For . . .

(In no particular order)

1. Day 3 of the Master Cleanse
2. Church yesterday – the sermon was helpful, music was worshipful, the visiting was good. How cool that the song I meditated on in the steam room was also the one we sang – Open my eyes, Lord.
3. The Arnez’s getting back safely and having a good time.
4. Catching up with my sister.
5. Spending time with Tim and Adrienne.
6. Spending time with Elizabeth.
7. Manicure Elizabeth gave to me. I have pretty pinky/purple toes.
8. How Elizabeth arranged the yellow room – complete with hanging the pictures.
9. Elizabeth re-arranging my room.
10. Safety at home, chruch, driving.
11. Filling up the needed slots at reteat. I’m going to trust God for this!
12. The things Tim did to sort out the watering situation.
13. Bob and how he parented and loved our children.
14. My plants – they are growing well
15. The abilty to do a good job on my paper – still not done so am thankign  and believing in advance.
16. A Washing machine and dryer that works.
17. For friends who care for and pry for me!!! This happened at church yesterday morning.
18. Your love for me that is everlasting and is not contingent upon my works or lack of them.  It is also enough. You meet my every need because of who you are: omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, Father, Saviour, Healer, eternal, holy, sovereign, Creator, creative, gracious and good, Just to name a few attributes.

Every day I make a list of what I am grateful for.  The date  indicates how many things I’ll write down. Since today is the 18th, I wrote up a list of 18 things. I am trying not to duplicate answers – which can get to be tough.

So what are you grateful for?

Should Christians Meditate?

A lot of people are concerned about the re-emergence of meditationin the Christian church saying it is connected to new age and other cultic movements. Since I don’t know too much about this I was eager to hear what our professor had to say in class and in his book, Spiritual Disciplines of a C.H.R.I.S.T.I.A.N.

It’s interesting that it is only in the last 150 years that the church has not emphasized meditation.

“Biblical meditaion was common practice,” according to my prof, Gil Stieglitz, “in the Christian church for 1900 years.”

Its definition, “repeating the concepts, ideas and words of Scripture to extract all the richness and wisdom” (65) calmed my qualms.

And knowing that Scripture explains meditation as the following was a further comfort:

• Delighting in Scripture (Psalm 119:16, 34, 47, 70)
• Delighting in the Lord (Psalm 37:4)
• Letting the Word of God richly dwell in your soul (Colossians 3:16) 
• Setting your mind on things above (Colossians 3:1)
• Setting your mind on the Spirit (Romans 8:6)
• Renewing your mind (Romans 12:2) (See page 65.)

Did you know that there are at least 7 kinds of meditation techniques? Do you know them?  Or use any of them?

Special Days Celebrated on March 12th

March 12 is . . . .

•  My Birthday – Born in the Queen of Angels hospital in Anaheim, CA. (At least I think it was Anaheim.) I was 3 months premature and in an incubator for quite awhile. Because of that, You Are the Air I Breathe is a meaningful song to me.
• Alfred Hitchcock Day - I’m not into scary movies much. Just the music from the shower scene in Psycho sends massive chills up and down my spine. The Birds and The Blob also freak me. Just think what I’d do with a modern day thriller. There’d be lots of screaming!
• Plant a Flower Day – Cool! I did just that today. I’ve got dirt under my fingernails and I’m proud of it. About 2 months ago a part of my red blossomed geranium plant broke off. I stuck it in water and basically ignored it. The other day I noticed it grew a slew of roots. So today I planted it in one of the pots in my enclosed front yard.
• First Library Opened -I LOVE reading and I love libraries. If ever I got stranded on an island with a library or two, I wouldn’t be sad for the first 30 years or so. 
• Girl Scout Day (Girl Scouts founded in 1912) -  As a former Girl Scout and Daisy leader, I am quite proud to share my bd with the scouts. I still have my sash of badges. I love it when K, my niece, asks me to work on a badge with her.

Thanks for sharing my special day with me. When it’s your day, tell us some fun facts too. Someday I’ll learn how to make a special linky thing so we can all see who writes what.

 I am going to celebrate my bd at Easter (more time). Then I will make up some new year resolutions. Do any of you also make resolutions on your bd?

New Women’s Study Starts Jan. 31

What you need to know:

• Wednesdays, 9:30-11:30 a.m.
• Held in Rudat Hall, CNC.
• Reserve your childcare spot by Jan. 21st.
• Buy your book and bring to first class:                                    Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado

Lorna Green  & Sarah Insco are the co-leaders.

“Weaving together anecdotes and the biblical narrative, Max Lucado shows how David slew his “giants” — and how we can slay our own. Lucado equates the five stones David used in slaying his giant to five decisions we must make when facing a challenge.”

M & M Saturday Two Weeks Away

January 20th is our first Mug and Muffin (M&M) Saturday. Come to hear relevant info in the comfort of Rudat Hall, friendship, food and prayer.

Tickets are available NOW from the office or any Women’s Ministry team member. 

Here’s the countdown . . .

3…Third Saturday of selected months; 9-10:30 a.m.
 2…Two goals: friendship and biblical answers.
  1…One great way to make 2007 a year to remember.

The four M&M dates are: January 20th, March 17th,  May 19th and August 18th.

Decorations Can be Emotional Bombs

I found that out when I started sorting all my Christmas decorations. Many had positive emotions connected to them.

• Like the one my ds made that has lots of eyes glued to it – the LORD is an ever-seeing, ever-present God.

• My dd rolled a blown brown egg in red, blue and green glitter.

• Of course, both children made several renditions of Mr. & Mrs. Clause out of Styrofoam balls, felt, and cotton. 

But then there’s the one my dh and I bought on a trip to Hawaii.

• We also bought one in Belgium and London.

• The year we had our house built in CO, my dd and I took a 2×4 from the site. We cut it down and painted a Mr. & Mrs. Bunny Claws. Cute. But full of memories that now cause pain.

My first instinct is to throw them all away. I don’t want to have any items around that remind me of my failed marriage. That’s why I wanted a Christmas tree that’s so different from any we had in the past. I wanted new memories. New associations.

 

But, if I throw these “emotional bomb decorations” away, will I be sorry in 10 years?

 

What do you advise? I know some of you have gone through similar situations. Please comment and lmk what has or hasn’t worked for you.

Turn These in Today

• Secret Sister “All About Me” form is due January 14th.

  Pick one up at the Secret Sister bookcase. Or I can email you one. Please consider joining. This is a rewarding program.

• Retreat 2007 signups are under way. Turn in your deposit ($50.00) and registration today.    

  14/70. Know what this means?

  14 women have already taken one of the 70 slots. Act today!

• $14.99. So you can buy a cookbook of course!

   

4th Annual Ladies Tea: Feb. 24, 2007

Ladies, as we listen to our speaker, we’ll have tea and brunch. Put this 10 am happy event on your calendar. We’ll accept RSVP’s in Feb.

           

3/10. Know what that stands for? 

We have filled 3 of the 10 hostess slots for this tea. Please sign up today, if you are interested in being a table hostess. Call Susan Wright at 635-5992.

 

“Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things.”

Chaim Potok: The
Chosen