So when was the last time you belly laughed? Cried?

. at . 3 comments

I really can’t remember when I last belly-laughed. Isn’t that sad? I’m sure I have in the past month but nothing is coming to mind. I think I need to keep a laughter journal.

However, I can remember the last time I cried. In fact, the last two times are memorable.

  • Several weeks ago my son’s fiancé broke off their engagement. I cried because his heart was broken. I cried because once again love was contaminated by the Fall at the Garden of Eden. And I cried because it reminded me so much of my own heartache and loss of love.
  • I cried this week because it was Valentine’s Day. Yes, it is hard to be a single, older, divorced woman in a culture that values younger (beautiful) couples. But that’s not why Valentine’s Day is so hard for me.
  • It’s hard because  in 2002, the weekend after Valentine’s Day, my-then-dh, said he wanted a divorce. Valentine’s Day reminds me of how broken promises have left their mark on me. Now I’ll think the same for my precious son.  😦

Now on that Valentine’s Day my-then-dh gave me a bunch of lovely flowers. Know why he gave them to me? “I didn’t want to get into trouble” he told me. I thought, “And what do you think you’re in now?”

Sounds funny now. Maybe if I concentrate enough on that, I can find the belly laughter.

I’ve found some help with my grief at Widow’s Quest. You don’t have to be a widow to experience grief. Anna has some good ideas on how to heal and take care of yourself in the process.

So, what has recently caused you deep laughter or pain filled tears?

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Entry filed under: Grief, Meditations, Prayer, Susan's World, Valentine's Day. Tags: , .

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Theresa Lindamood  |  . at .

    Susan, I was praying for you on VD as I knew it would probably be hard. I am also sorry for your son’s pain right now. But, honestly, I’m so glad she said something now. I know from my own life that it takes a lot more courage to cut off an engagement than to go through with a marriage that might fail or just be outside of God’s will for you. I wished a hole would open up and swallow me! 6 years later I married Tim and know beyond a doubt that this truly was God’s will and that he rewarded me for saying No. I’m sure that your son feels like he would like to be sucked into a big hole right now too, but I am going to pray for him tonight…that God will give him a blessing beyond his wildest dreamings and imagination! I will pray that God will comfort you both as you grieve. I have more experience than I ever wanted with grieving and I have always thought that divorce must be the worst type of grieving because the person is still there. With death, we can understand the absence, but divorce leaves so many things up in the air. I think just like each person has to have a journey with their grief of a lossed life, God will also do this for you and that because your heart is humble and submitted to Him, He will bless you with increased intimacy with Him and a wholeness you might not otherwise have felt. I will continue to pray for you as God puts you on my mind!

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  • 2. susan2009  |  . at .

    Theresa – thank you for your prayers, friendship and wise advice.

    I should have also asked for prayer for Tim’s special lady as she is hurting as well.

    Yes, it is a wondrous thing that God takes our pain (big and small) and molds it into something beautiful and good.

    I really like what you are praying for me, my friend. It shows that you’ve come through some hard times and have received mightily from God. Thanks for sharing the hope.

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  • […] 19, 2009 I meant to write the following list for Valentines Day. But the week around this love holiday holds sad feelings for me and I’m usually sad/depressed. Even though I don’t want to be. This year was no […]

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