Feelings & Thoughts Are Affected by Chronic Pain
Women with chronic pain experience a wide range of feelings and thoughts. Some of the most common feelings are fear, anger, bitterness and depression.[1] Even women who are otherwise in good emotional health or have a strong religious foundation will experience some of these feelings and others.
Ruminating thoughts can also consume a woman. Thoughts like doubt and blame pair up for a one-two punch to a woman’s serenity and sense of safety. Women doubt and blame themselves and God. At times it is hard work to think on the best and not the worst or things to praise and not to curse. At times it is impossible for the woman to change the feelings or thoughts that have her hostage.
“Regardless of the depth of your faith, pain takes over and consumes your every thought.” EK
The feelings and thoughts of others can also hold a woman hostage.“The emotional effects of having the illness discounted, of having one’s respectability and judgment questioned, and dealing with the criticism of others can add to a woman’s fear, anger, bitterness and depression. These kinds of negative actions are even displayed by good hearted and moral Christians.
This is where the minister, counselor, friend, or family member can help. Encourage the woman to express exactly how she feels whether it’s anger at God (or whoever/whatever) or the need to seek His support. Whether physical healing ever occurs or not hope is always needed.
What is one way that you can offer hope to someone in pain? What is something that you’d like to hear/receive that would bring you hope?
Related Articles:
[1] Stuart S. Kassan, Chronic Pain for Dummies. Hoboken: Wiley Publishing, 2008, p. 15.
Entry filed under: chronic pain, Learning. Tags: chronic pain.
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Fruitful Words 
1.
Elizabeth Kaylene | . at .
I can’t count the number of times — in the last three or so months alone — that I have thought about overdosing on my medication, if only to kill the pain. I’m terrified that one day the thought is going to be more than just a temptation, and that I’ll make a mistake I won’t ever be able to take back. I have a history of depression and suicide attempts as it is, so I am even more susceptible apparently.
Some days it is so hard to just keep fighting and to keep those thoughts positive. That’s when I usually head on over to Scars Can Speak and try to put those thoughts into words. It’s hard to write about these thoughts, though; I often feel like I am supposed to be strong for the community I am building, when in reality I don’t feel that strong.
I’m hanging in there, though.
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susan2009 | . at .
Elizabeth, ((((hugs))))
I am feeling so sad reading about your pain. Please make a promise to someone that you’ll talk to them when you feel this desparate. Is it okay to call Kitty?
Overdosing on your meds, attempting suicide, would be a mistake.
Sometimes being strong means being vulnearable and honest about the internal pain. Sometimes it means taking a risk that someone will be there to hear and comfort you. Sometimes its feeling the pain and hanging in there.
I’m praying for God’s blessings to give you a restful sleep tonight.
Thank you for hanging in there, Elizabeth.
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Elizabeth Kaylene | . at .
Thank you.
What you said about strength being feeling the pain and hanging in there sometimes really resonated with me. I will try to remember that and use it to carry me through. I guess it’s kind of like that saying, “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”
I am trying very hard to stay strong. Usually I’m too busy to feel that desperation and hopelessness, but it does sneak in. I should probably mention this to Kitty; I’ve only mentioned in passing that I attempted suicide a few months ago because of my chronic pain. I try not to make a big deal about it, but I know it is a big deal and that I should do whatever possible to steer away from those thoughts.
Thank you for your words, your prayers, your support. It all helps, so much more than you know.
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susan2009 | . at .
Good morning, Elizabeth.
Desparation and hopelessness are sneaky and persistent. Please do let Kitty know about your suicidal ideations.
Working with the right counselor was key for me to be able to let go of my own destructive thoughts. I had friends, but didn’t believe I could share such thoughts with them. I thought they wouldn’t like me. I didn’t have that conflict with my therapist.
You are welcome, Elizabeth. You continue to be in my prayers today. 🙂
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How Theology Impacts a Woman Experiencing Chronic Pain « Fruitful Words | . at .
[…] Feelings & Thoughts Affected by Chronic Pain […]
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6.
Elizabeth Kaylene | . at .
@Susan: It’s very hard for me to voice those feelings, because I hate people looking at me in that way. A lot of people don’t understand suicide or wanting to die, so many people who feel that way often feel alienated, like myself.
I stick with my blog at Letters of Love and the people involved with the LOL project because they all know how it feels to want to die, and they are great friends. It’s still hard for me to admit that I’m needing help again.
I see my therapist again tomorrow and will definitely let her know. Thanks for your encouragement!
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susan2009 | . at .
It’s true, Elizabeth, there are a lot of misconceptions about suicide and prejudices towards those who have those feelings. And unless you’ve felt them, it is hard to understand. I have had those types of feelings. For many years. When life got too hard, it was my default response. I certainly felt crazy b/c no one else seemed to be bothered, encumbered with such feelings. It’s been years now, but I can still remember the weight , the chokehold of those emotions.
I wrote a post about a helpful book: https://fruitfulwords.wordpress.com/2008/06/05/suicide-is-a-permanent-solution-to-a-temporary-problem/ The book is “How I Stayed Alive When my Brain was Trying to Kill Me.”
I’m glad, Elizabeth, that you have a community of people who understand, give you permission to be who you are and let you grow.
I also find it hard admiting when I need help – in all areas of my life. I’ve heard it said that it takes a strong person to admit their need. I believe that. You are a strong person, Elizabeth, for pursuing and continuing to pursue health for your physical and emotional body.
I’m praying that your time with Kitty is productive. ((((Hugs))))
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Elizabeth Kaylene | . at .
@Susan: It wasn’t so productive. But I’m sticking with it for at least another week.
I’m definitely going to check out your post, and that book!
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