Complete These Sentences: “Grief Recovery Is . . .” “Grief Recovery Means . . .”

The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman has many helpful ideas about grief.

Below are some that are most meaningful to me.

Recovery is (James, 6-7)   . . .

• Acknowledging that it is perfectly all right to feel sad from time to time and to talk about those feelings no matter how those around you react.
• Being able to enjoy fond memories without having them initiate painful feelings of regret or remorse.
• Being able to forgive others when they say or do things that you know are based on their lack of knowledge about grief.
• Finding new meaning for living without the fear of being hurt again.
• One day realizing that your ability to talk about the loss you’ve experienced is indeed normal and healthy.

Recovery means (James, 6-7, 41)  . . . 

• Acquiring the skills that you should have been taught in childhood.
• Claiming your circumstances instead of circumstances claiming you and your happiness.
• Discovering and completing what was unfinished for you in your unique relationship.

Recovery “is not a one-time arrival at a set destination. It’s an ongoing process” (Wright, 68). Nor will life ever get back to normal. Life will be different because of the loss.

“When we go through any significant grief experience we come out of it as different people. Depending upon the way we responded to this event we are either stronger people than we were before or weaker-either healthier in spirit or sicker.” (Westberg, 61)

 The grieving person will develop a new normal. As we shepherd our flock and/or support our family and friends we can help them develop a new normal that is healthy for their mind, body and spirit.

Let’s Talk About It

1. How did you complete the sentences: “Grief recovery is . . .” Grief recovery means . . .”
2. Do any of these points make an impact? Why?
3. What skill(s) do you need to learn now that you didn’t learn in childhood?
4. What recovery do you need/want to make?
5. How can you support someone in their grief recovery process?
6. How would you like someone to support you?

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Works Cited

• James, John W and Russell Friedman. The Grief Recovery Handbook. New York: HarperPerennial, 1999.          
• Westberg, Granger E. Good Grief. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1997.                                                                                                               
• Wright, H. Norman.  Experiencing Grief. Nashville: B&H Publishing Group, 2004.

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