How to Get Unstuck (from Grief) By Using a Wishes List

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The events that lead to grief can take away your joy, your ability to plan happily into the future and your sense of control. For awhile this is normal. But you can become stuck in grief.

I’ve felt out-of-control, unable to plan and joyless. This  led me to feeling utterly incapable of making and following goals to completion.  Making and fulfilling wise “wishes” (whether they are 3, 10 or 100) can reverse the above. Making wishes is easier than making goals and doesn’t seem as binding or scary. It may be a matter of semantics, but sometimes I need to “fool” myself into a new behavior. I’ve seen that making and following wishes can be just as powerful as making and following goals.

Wishes can . . .

  • Give you a plan to moving into a new sense of self.
  • Give you a sense of purpose.
  • Help you to see who you are now.

Life takes away so many things from us. The list is long but includes people, homes, relationships, possessions, jobs, and dreams. Use this time to put new things back into your life by making wishes. Experiment. Keep what fits and ditch the rest.

Some wishes you might have that can help you discover a new you and a new purpose are as follows:

  1. Get an updated haircut.
  2. Write down what your values are. Also write your own personal mission/vision statement.
  3. Sort closet and drawers so that you only have clothes you love.
  4. Update your home. Build a fireplace, paint the walls with vibrant colours, or add a gym.
  5. Add art to your life. Plant fruit trees, put funky pillows on your sofa. Wear beautiful jewelry. Frame and hang art made by kids.
  6. Volunteer at a local school, animal shelter, museum, religious institution, hospital/hospice or national park.
  7. Practice random acts of kindness.
  8. Hire a photographer for a photo shoot of YOU!
  9. Take a college class just for the fun of it.
  10. Drastically cull items from your life: declutter your possessions and your schedule.
  11. Read new genres. Share the new ideas with friends or at a book club.
  12. Leisurely spend time with God through the Bible, music, fasting, other religious readings, and extended prayer.
  13. Give yourself permission to rest, rest and then rest some more.
  14. Regularly express your thoughts through journaling, music, dance, or paint.

Your Turn

  • Which of the above appeal to you?
  • What would you add to the list to help you discover a new you and a new purpose?
  • What can help you become unstuck in grief?

Related Posts

5 Ways to Help a Grieving Friend

11 Grief Resources: Books & Websites

35 Reasons It IS Beneficial To Attend a Group

Every Loss Can Bring Grief

Grief Can Become Stuck

Falling Into Place

It’s Important to Grieve the Little Losses Too

This Grief Attitude Annoys Me

Twenty Wishes Can Change Your Life (more than a book report)

Entry filed under: Grief. Tags: , .

14 Ways to Determine God’s Will Friday’s Favourites – 9/3/2010

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