What Does it Take to be a Good Friend?

. at . 8 comments

In order to be a good friend certain skills must be developed and used in the sharing of life with one another. These skills include . . .

  • Being genuinely interested in others,
  • Having fun together,
  • Trustworthiness (in actions and words),
  • Being positive,
  • Encouraging,
  • Merciful,
  • Focusing on the strengths of the person,
  • Minimizing weaknesses in your friend,
  • Setting and following good boundaries,
  • Sharing your own thoughts, feelings and needs on a regular basis,
  • and when necessary rebuking and forgiving others in gentleness and love.

This sharing involves having something in common beyond ourselves. These areas are location, interests, needs and feelings. I also look at the other person’s integrity and religious views. The more we have in common across these areas, the more intimate the relationship will be.

In the past my relationships have tended to be one-sided where I did most of the listening and helping. In other words, I was more like a counselor than a friend. People would say that I was their best friend, but I did not have reciprocal feelings because I had not equally shared my needs and feelings. I am no longer content with having these types of relationships for the majority of my relationships. So, I have been forcing myself to take my turn at sharing (with safe people of course).

Instead of always turning the conversation away from me, I’ve been staying on my topic (about a need or feeling) until I am done. Or I take a risk and come back to that topic until it is resolved. My safe people have surprised me with how much they love and like me and encourage me in truth-telling. I have shared my difficulty with some of  these people so they help me stay on topic as well. Not only have I felt much closer to these folks, I have found some resolution for some issues as well. In addition, they have said that they feel closer to me too.

Your Turn . . .

  1. Do you have good friends to share your life with?
  2. What do you think it takes to be a good friend?
  3. Which trait(s) do you especially value?
  4. What are you doing to grow in your ability to be a good friend?

Related Posts . . .

  1. 10 Things I Like About My Best Friend
  2. 15 Things Real Friends Do Differently (from Marc and Angel Hack Life)
  3. 25 Ways to be a Friend (From Chasing Blue Skies blog)
  4. Do You Have a Highlight in Your Life?
  5. Get Busy Making Some History With a Friend
  6. There Can Be No Trust When Perfection is Your Goal

Entry filed under: Boundaries, goals, Learning, Susan's World. Tags: .

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8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Dawn  |  . at .

    Wonderful post and full of wisdom! Thank you for sharing part of your journey here.


  • 2. Theresa  |  . at .

    Great article…and I just LOVE the pic! 🙂


  • 3. Duker  |  . at .

    I loved this post…. and adore the picture. It makes me want to re-open myself. I have been missing that lately !!


  • 4. Jessica  |  . at .

    I am blog hopping today and decided to stop by your blog.

    Hope you will stop by and follow either or both of my blogs.

    Jessicas Lil Corner is our family blog http://jessicaslilcorner.blogspot.com

    So Stylilized is where I am currently offering FREE custom blog designs at http://sostylilized.blogspot.com

    Have a blessed day! :0)


  • 5. Brenda  |  . at .

    I like friends that I can disagree with and our relationship survives it. I also like friends who accept me, even when I am very different from what they are.

    I have always felt that relationships need to be reciprocal, if we don’t have genuine give and take, then its not a friendship. And don’t we tire quickly of people who only talk of themselves?

    I am blessed to have many wonderful friends.


  • […] Really Listen. The next time you have a conversation with someone, give them your undivided attention. This action says, “You are my friend.” […]


  • […] What Does it Take to be a Good Friend? […]


  • […] What Does it Take to be a Good Friend? […]



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