Can We Set Boundaries and Still be a Loving Person?
About once a month, in our Wednesday night small group the issue about boundaries is raised. Many of us struggle about when it is Biblically appropriate to set limits. Sometime in 2012, I hope we can go through the Boundaries material.
For now I will post 9 points from my current reading.
- Setting a boundary is more than saying “no” to requests.
- Not having boundaries leads to a chaotic life with spiritual and emotional pain.
- Some other characteristics of a boundary-less life include . . .
- Guilt, and
- Feeling like life is out-of-control.
- When we don’t take ownership of our life, the following actions won’t work . . .
- Trying harder
- Being nice out of fear
- People pleasing
- Taking responsibility for others’ feelings and problems
- We need to know what is our “job” and what isn’t our job (in relating to others).
- The following are not part of our job description. Someone’s . . .
- Chronic loneliness
- Unending crisis’
- Guilt ridden message of self-sacrifice
- Our inability or reluctance to set boundaries affects others.
- There are 4 types of boundaries: mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
- Boundaries are Biblical and are seen in God’s character and in His Universe.
Your Turn . . .
- How would you answer the question in the title?
- What is the most important thing you’ve learned about boundaries?
- If you’ve had a problem with boundaries, how did you transition to having godly boundaries?
- What is a good first step?
Related Posts . . .
- Boundaries Benefit Me and Others
- Grateful for Boundaries in Five Areas
- What Your Job is Not – also includes some things that are. This is talking about a physical job, but could also apply to boundaries.