Can We Set Boundaries and Still be a Loving Person?

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Boundaries are like a fence. I am responsible for what’s on my side of the fence. You are responsible for what’s on your side of the fence.

About once a month, in our Wednesday night small group the issue about boundaries is raised.  Many of us struggle about when it is Biblically appropriate to set limits. Sometime in 2012, I hope we can go through the Boundaries material.

For now I will post 9 points from my current reading.

  1. Setting a boundary is more than saying “no” to requests.
  2. Not having boundaries leads to a chaotic life with spiritual and emotional pain.
  3. Some other characteristics of a boundary-less life include . . .
    • Isolation
    • Helplessness
    • Confusion
    • Guilt, and
    • Feeling like life is out-of-control.
  4. When we don’t take ownership of our life, the following actions won’t work . . .
    • Trying harder
    • Being nice out of fear
    • People pleasing
    • Taking responsibility for others’ feelings and problems
  5. We need to know what is our “job” and what isn’t our job (in relating to others).
  6. The following are not part of our job description. Someone’s . . .
    • Chronic loneliness
    • Irresponsibility
    • Unending crisis’
    • Immaturity
    • Guilt ridden message of self-sacrifice
  7. Our inability or reluctance to set boundaries affects others.
  8. There are 4 types of boundaries: mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
  9. Boundaries are Biblical and are seen in God’s character and in His Universe.

Your Turn . . .

  • How would you answer the question in the title?
  • What is the most important thing you’ve learned about boundaries?
  • If you’ve had a problem with boundaries, how did you transition to having godly boundaries?
  • What is a good first step?

Related Posts . . . 

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57 Thing To Do During my 57th Year

The Big DayMarch 12th, 2016
6 months to go.

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57 Things I’ve Done by March 2016

1. Bought Personalized 2015 Photo Calendar
2. Bought Personalized Stamps
3. Wrote 2 Blackout Poems
4. Movie Marathon: The Good Witch Films (7 of them) -watched with Marsha
5. Movie Marathon: Star Wars: Phantom Menace
6. Family Special Time (Lennon, Kadie)
7. Movie Marathon: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship, The Two Towers, and Return of the King - watched with Lori
8. Gathered contents & sealed a time capsule to be opened July, 2018,
9. Made snowman 2015 ornament.

57 Books I’ve Read by March 2016

1. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo.
2. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
3. Inspiration Sandwich by SARK.
4. A Man of Grit and Grace: Paul by Charles Swindoll
5. Prayer: Life's Limitless Reach by Jack R Taylor
6. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
7. The Secret Adversary by Agatha Christie
8. MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche
9. I'm Glad I'm a Mom: Inspirational Stories of Love, Laughter, and Everyday Life by Hearts at Home
10. The Great Divorce by CS Lewis
11. The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
12. Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent
13. A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs
14. Living Oprah by Robyn Okrant
15. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
16. What's So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancey
17. Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter
18. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
19. The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance by John Trent & Gary Smalley
20. The Engine 2 Diet: The Texas Firefighter's 28-Day Save-Your-Life Plan that Lowers Cholesterol and Burns Away the Pounds by Rip Esselstyn
21. The Pursuit of God Paperback by A. W. Tozer
22.-25. Last Light, Night Light, True Light, & Dawn's Light (a Restoration Novel Series) by Terri Blackstock
26.. Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens
27. The Hope Quotient by Ray Johnson
28, One Thousand White Women: The Journals of Mary Todd by Jim Fergus
29. Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding
30. Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift
31. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
32. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
33. Laddie; a true blue story, by Gene Stratton Porte
34. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
35. An Old-Fashioned Girl by Louise May Alcott
36. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
37. Miss Julia Lays Down the Law by Ann B. Ross
38. Persuasion by Jane Austen
39. A Jane Austen Education: How Six Novels Taught Me About Love, Friendship, and the Things That Really Matter by William Deresiewicz
40. Emma by Jane Austen
41. Thrush Green by Miss Read
42. The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams

Stuff I’ve Written and When

Book of Braille Sculptures

By Elizabeth Symington

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