Where Are Your Actions Taking Your Marriage?

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Hopefully our actions lead to blessings and happiness. Sometimes they lead to heart-break and being alone.

“An artist’s sphere of influence is the world,” Carl von Weber.

While you may not have as much influence as an artist, you definitely have a sphere of influence. Like it or not.


When my son was 7-years-old he felt weighed down by his sphere of influence. We had the following conversation.

Tim: Mom, you know that I am older than most of my friends in the village.

Me: Yes, I do know that.

Tim: Did you know that they copy me?!

Me: No, I didn’t know that. But that doesn’t surprise me.

Tim: Well, it bothers me. That means I have to be responsible. I have to behave.

Each of us has a sphere of influence. Like it or not.

Your actions and words are listened to and in many cases copied. This is especially true for those children watching you. How many times has a child of yours (niece/nephew, daughter/son, student, grandchild, etc) repeated verbatim something you’ve said? How many times has a child repeated one of your actions?

 Usually this is considered cute. But sometimes it is an embarrassment because the copied words/actions were not quite moral.

The song, Slow Fade by Casting Crowns, talks about being careful with our actions.

As Believers we must guard our hearts and understand that no one crashes and burns. They just slowly fade away one compromise at a time. Mark Hall


ONE. We don’t normally intend becoming immoral. We don’t normally intend on abandoning our marriage. It is a slow, slippery slope into immorality. One small step towards a mis-direction can easily lead to another, and another, and another. It is vital that we monitor our actions.This song reminds us . . .

Be careful little eyes what you see.
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little ears what you hear. When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say. For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

Your Turn . . .

  • Are your steps taking you toward a stronger, healthier marriage?
  • Are there any mis-steps that you see happening?
  • If yes, who can you talk to today to help you get back on the right path?
  • What will you lose if you keep on going in this mis-direction? Is that something you want to live with?

TWO. The consequences of our actions don’t just influence us. They also influence and affect those round us. And sometimes these consequences are more than what we want to deal with. As this song says,

Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow.

As a class assignment in Seminary we talked about the consequences of immorality in our marriages. We came up with 100 adverse consequences. That was a powerful assignment!

Your Turn . . .

  • Who are you influencing?
  • Is your influence a good one? If not, what changes will you make today?
  • If you don’t make the changes, what is likely to happen? What consequences are likely to ensue?

Remember, it’s a slow fade into a wrong direction in life. We eventually reap what we sow.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. Galatians 6:7.

Therefore live purposefully, pay attention to your choices, and surround yourself with people who influence you for the good.

 Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Romans 13:13

 Related Posts . . . 


During November I am writing or posting a photo about something for which I am grateful. This explains why.  

My gratitude posting for November 25: I am grateful for the many marriages that are strong, healthy, godly, & maturing. I am thinking of my sister & brother-in-law’s marriage. The pastors at my church have marriages like this. I’d like to honour the Gossards, the Greens, and the Whites. Plus there are many, many more marriages I know deserving of an accolade. Thanks, folks, for these awesome examples of love, servanthhood, and mutual respect!!!



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