G: Dealing With Disenfranchised GRIEF in a Healthy Way

“I think that moving past my pain in this situation will largely depend on my

“No person has the right to condemn you on how you repair your heart or how long you … grieve, because no one knows how much you are hurting. Recovering takes time and everyone heals at his or her own pace.” (found on Facebook, couldn’t find an author)

ability to be real with myself and with others. Finding the right people—safe counselors, patient friends—who will listen and understand is going to help. The love was very real so the pain and the grief from the loss are very real too. 

• I won’t hurry through it for the sake of someone else’s comfort level.
• I won’t bury it just because someone else thinks it should be hid.
• I won’t be quiet just because someone else doesn’t want to listen.
• I won’t pretend it doesn’t matter, because to me, it does.”

The above quote comes from a blog post from Captain’s Blog.

This post is about disenfranchised grief. This is grief that is not acknowledged or legitimized by society or a group of people who are important to you. I like the four things he won’t do. Sounds healthy and like good boundary setting.

Your Turn . . .

1. Are you taking the time you need in order to heal from your grief? People might give you a year or two, but it just might take longer, much longer. And that’s okay. Take the time you need. Some sources of grief will impact you the rest of your life. Your new normal will be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.
2. Are you talking to those safe counselors and patient friends who will listen and listen and listen? And even if they don’t understand they continue to listen so that you don’t have to bury your despair, thoughts, confusion, and anger. Such people do exist, but you might have to be persistent in finding such a support system.
3. Are you good to yourself by refusing to hush? When you come across people who don’t want to listen, or cannot listen, do you then go back to those safe counselors and patient friends? Don’t forget that God is also one of those safe counselors and patient friends. And I’ve found that a journal also qualifies.
4. No matter what, don’t pretend your grief is unimportant or that the source of your grief is unimportant. If it’s important to you, it’s important. Take your time, bring your grief to the surface, talk, and don’t pretend. Do these things because how you think, feel and act are important. Do these things so that you can heal.
5. If you’d like to share your story here, please do.
6. Encourage someone by listening intently to them today. “We live by encouragement and we die without it, slowly, sadly, and angrily,” (Celeste Holme).

If you’d like prayer, I’d be honored to pray for you. I believe in the power of prayer and I believe in the Person who gives prayer that power, the tribune God.

Related Posts . . . 

• 11 Grief Resources: Books & Websites
• 20 Ways I Handled My Breaking Heart (from divorce)
• Don’t Say These 13 Things to a Grieving Person
• Every Loss Can Bring Grief
• F: FREEDOM to Share Thoughts When There’s Someone Who’ll Listen
• This Grief Attitude Annoys Me
• Mourning is a Choice

NOTE: This post is written for the Blogging From A to Z Challenge. There are 22 categories and my category is MI = Miscellaneous.

During the month of April I will post 26 times finishing up posts that have been in my draft fie for at least a year. For a list of all the posts go to the A-Z button on my header.

Today’s letter is G. The topic is GRIEF.