Five Steps to Building an Intimate Relationship with God: Part 2/2

. at . 4 comments

Just as wearning a helmet when bicycling or a life jackey wrhn boat, there are beahviours we can choose that will help produce safe realtionships. This in turn helps the relationship become more intiomate.

Just as wearing a helmet when bicycling or a life jacket when boating, there are behaviors we can choose that will help produce safe relationships. This in turn helps the relationship become more intimate.

Intimate friends are “marked by a warm friendship developing through long association.” There are also certain behaviors that each person needs to exhibit towards the other, in order to maintain a healthy, intimate relationship.

Healthy, intimate relationships are characterized by “safety.” This happens when 5 behaviors are consistent.

  • Open attitude: frankness, truthfulness, and transparency
  • Consistent, friendly communication
  • Sharing activities, thoughts, and ideas
  • Forgiveness stays current (forgive as problems arise instead of holding onto them)
  • Believe that the other person has your best in mind

Healthy, intimate friendships also show “acceptance” behaviors to each other through the following:  

  1. Each person values the other person very highly
  2. Each person believes the best about each other (gives the benefit of the doubt)
  3. There is an acceptance of each other’s thoughts and behaviours
  4. There is an acceptance of each other’s boundaries
  5. There is an ongoing engagement and re-commitment by both persons to the relationship

The above characteristics are also present when one has a healthy, intimate relationship with God.

True confession time. My biggest behavior flaw is that I don’t always believe that God has my best in mind. As I experience life’s difficulties, confusions, and overload, I let myself doubt God’s goodness which leads me to not believing the best about Him.

To counteract this, I do two things. (1) I am frank, truthful, and transparent in how I feel. I talk to God about the situation. (2) I then focus on His past behaviors. I make a list of how He has been faithful. This reminds me that God is committed to having an on-going relationship with me because He loves me. And it reminds me of His goodness.

Your Turn . . .

STEP ONE. Look at the two lists. Circle the number (on a scale of 1-5) that reflects how  intimate you are with God. 5 is highly intimate. 1 is not intimate at all.

Safety Behaviours  (You exhibit these towards God)

  • 1 2 3 4 5 Frank, truthful, and transparent attitudes
  • 1 2 3 4 5 Consistent, friendly communication
  • 1 2 3 4 5 Sharing activities, thoughts, and idea
  • 1 2 3 4 5 Forgiveness stays current
  • 1 2 3 4 5 Believe that God has your best in mind

Acceptance Behaviors (You exhibit these towards God)

  • 1 2 3 4 5 Value God very highly
  • 1 2 3 4 5  Believe the best about God
  • 1 2 3 4 5 Accept God’s thoughts and behaviours
  • 1 2 3 4 5 Accept God’s boundaries
  • 1 2 3 4 5 Ongoing re-commitment to a relationship with God

STEP TWO. Look at your scores. How did you do in safety behaviors? How about in acceptance behaviors?

STEP THREE. What would you like to improve or do more of in each set of behaviors?

STEP FOUR. Pray. Ask God to help you become closer and to give you wisdom. What one action will you tackle first? What will you do? Practice this new action for a month or so evaluating how you’re doing at least once a week.

STEP FIVE. Once this new action is truly part of your relationship with God, add another action.

What we do shows whether or not we value God. Spending time (quality and quantity) with Him will improve our relationship with Him.

Your Comments . . . What behavior would you add to these two lists?  . . .  What action will you take?

NOTE: Part 1 of this “Intimacy with God” series is here: 11 Ways to Increase Intimacy with God: Part 1/2 

Related Posts from the Internet . . . 


FYI. During April I participated in the A-Z Challenge. Most of the posts were from drafts that are at least a year old. I want to clear out my draft pile (193 as of May 15, 2013). So I am continuing to make a special effort to finish those. This is one such post.

Entry filed under: Main.

Friday’s Fave Five 4 Items On Post Retreat Bucket List

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lynette  |  . at .

    Safety Behaviors: easy to answer, all fives except the last one (it’s a 3).
    Acceptance Behaviors:a bit harder to answer. Last one a 5. The others lower on the scale. Interesting……I wonder why.


  • 2. Stephanie Lee  |  . at .

    I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on Intimacy with God and couldn’t agree more. I would love to ask your permission to use a version of your ‘test’ or ‘assessment’ in a girls group that I will be leading this weekend?


    • 3. susan2009  |  . at .

      Hi Stephanie,
      I am glad you found this post helpful.
      Yes, please do use it with your girls group.
      Let me know if you see something that could be improved.

      Have a great weekend, I will pray for y’all.


  • 4. stephandbrian  |  . at .

    Thank you so much! I really appreciate your generosity! I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂 Blessings and have a great weekend- Steph



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