5 Reasons Salad is a Bother

What is your opinion of salad? I know it is politically correct to like it and eat some every day. But for the moment, I am not going to be politically correct. And in fact I will be a little petulant.

Below are my five reasons that salad is a bummer, bore, and bother.

ONE. Teeth. Things, as in green things, get stuck in my teeth. And do folks think to let you know of your unfortunate enamel decorations? Not typically. So at the end of the day, when you take a bathroom break and you notice the green-toothed buggers, how do you feel? I feel stupid and ugly.

TWO. Comfortless. Salad is never said to be a comfort food. Healthy, light, crunchy, cooling? Yes, yes, yes, and yes! But never is it called a comfort food. And life is stressful enough that I need comfort food, often.

THREE. Carbless. This means no croutons. No sugared walnuts. No jello concoctions. No salad greens drenched with sugared dressings. No dried fruits. No rice, pasta, or potato salads either. And you know what all this means, no fun!

FOUR. Tummy. For whatever reason, my digestion is not the greatest. And so I have a hard time digesting raw foods. Unfortunately raw food is basically the types of salad I can eat to make my blood sugar happy. When I eat raw salad my blood sugar is happy and this means that MOST of my body is therefore happy, healthy and likely to live a little but longer. But my tummy is still not happy.

FIVE. Time. Eating a salad takes a long time. Every time I order a salad, which I do almost every Tuesday, I am the LAST person (at our staff lunch) eating. This is so even if I eat quickly and hardly talk. I always feel a little embarrassed to always be the laggard.

Your Turn . . .  What would you add to this list on why salad is a bummer, bore, and bother?

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