G is for . . . Grandma

“I like the advice Dr. James Dobson gives to parents and I think it applies more easily to grandparents, ‘Let your love for the children be transparent.’

Spend all the time you can with them … camping … school events … holidays … and just because. … Just like your own children, your grandchildren will be grown up before you know it.

“We do this by the way we look at them, talk to them and about them, as well as the way we act with them, and care about their futures.

“It’s little ways and big ways. Grandchildren should be secure in the love of their Grandparents.” Rosemary

Being a grandma while liberating and totally amazing, is also a responsibility. Therefore, I am always on the hunt for how to be a “good” grandparent.

Below are tips from some wonderful grandmothers that I know. 

PLAY TOGETHER WITH SPECIAL TOYS. I have a (not so) secret box of toys that my grandchildren are only allowed to play with when I am present.  They are our special toys and we play with them together. Brenda

CONNECT VIA TECHNOLOGY. If you don’t text, learn how. It is a fun way to keep in touch with my grandkids. They were pretty surprised the first time I did it and even more so when I used FaceTime. Shirley

A SURPRISE JUST FOR THEM. I like to have a “Grandma Drawer” in my house. When they come over, they go straight to it, and they know there will be a little surprise just for them. I put their first initial on it, just so they know it was chosen for them alone. I stalk the shelves at Target, Michael’s, Hobby Lobby, WalMart and any place I can find inexpensive books, small toys or interesting things for each of them. They love it! Julie

GIVE ATTENTION, PLAY, AND BE CONSISTENT.  I would have to say being constant and always willing to play and give your attention to your grandchild. Be willing to be a kid again and play. Michelle

PRAYER, SHARE LOVE OF GOD & HOBBY/SKILL. Besides praying for them and sharing your love of God, share a favorite hobby or skill. Amina loved to cook with me. My grandma McLeod taught me songs on the piano (by ear). Jeanne

ROSEMARY HAS 4 TIPS. 

SYMPATHETIC RESPONSE. I read once that a grandmother’s best response to anything that upsets the child is a sympatric “Awwww” as you cuddle the little one or hug the older child.  I have used it so I don’t have to contradict parents or take sides, or try to fix what I cannot. Good for boo-boos, too.

SUPPORT PARENTS WHILE TEACHING RESPECT. I believe that a grandma should be supportive of the parents’ wishes and dictates.

However, a grandma  should be able to say, “At grandma’s house we: use inside voices … put away the toys … don’t jump on the furniture.”

At grandma’s you ask “May I please have that” and say “Thank you, grandma,” etc. It works where your “ways” differ from what’s going on at home. Grandma has to teach the children to respect her and her belongings.

DISCIPLINE USING THE NAUGHTY CHAIR. We have a comfortable chair where a child is taken to sit until he/she decides to behave. “Time out” lasts until the child is ready to get off the chair and behave. So the child can sit there and pout or cry for as long as they want, but meanwhile they are seeing the rest of us carry on as usual.

DEALING WITH CRUDE TALK. When a child uses crude words, swearing and other shock language, I stop the conversation and say “That’s bathroom talk. Does this look like a bathroom? If you want to talk that way, go into the bathroom and close the door, because the rest of us don’t want to hear that kind of talk.” (I used this with my own children and as adult men they do not use foul language.)

A TEEN GRAND CHILD ANSWERS. A good grandma . . .

• Takes the place of your mom.
• Is someone you can always talk to & get advice from.
• Does everything within their means that the parent can’t do.

Your Turn . . . What tip(s) do you have to share? . . .  What tip(s) would you like to implement?

Gee, what “G” word would you write about?

I am linking this to ABC Wednesday.  The ABC Wednesday Facebook Group is here.

RELATED RESOURCES . . .

GRAND PARENTING BLOGS I READ . . . 

• GaGa Sisterhood: Where Grandmas Bond, Brag, and Benefit
• Grandma’s Briefs
• Grands Matter
• Nana Hood

POSTS I LIKE  . . . 

• Build Traditions with Your Grandchildren
• Love, Grandma: 6 tips on writing memorable messages for grandchildren   
• The Other Grandparents: 3 Things to Remember
• Why Nanas Need Rules