Posts tagged ‘friendship’

Quotes from “A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman”

Do you have particular books you want to read this Summer? I do. My list is here. I just finished this book A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman by Joan Anderson. It is FULL of quotes I want to remember.

BE HAPPY WITH ME  

All is ripely quiet, and I lift my glass to me, a woman turned inside out, no longer wanting to become happy because, finally, I am.

“You mustn’t fret. There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.”  (Joan erickson)

When I need centering, I sing a favorite hymn, “Spirit of God Descend Upon My Heart,” which also allows me to ease drop on my spirit and pick up on its mumblings. ·

 

HAVE FRIENDSHIPS THAT CAUSE ME TO GROW 

Every woman should have a mentor – not her mother, but someone who doesn’t have a stake in how she turns out, who encourages her to risk, who picks her up when she falls flat on her face. Joan prods, pokes, and coaxes me each time we’re together. ·

“Want to get into some trouble today?} What did you have in mind I ask, smiling at her devilishness. “Oh, I don’t know – just getting out and gathering up some experiences!” ·

 

BECOME WHOLE BY PAYING ATTENTION 

Of primary importance now is for me to retrieve the buried parts of me­-qualities like playfulness, vulnerability, being at home in my skin, using more of my instincts. Like so many pieces of a puzzle, I need to find a way to create the whole once again

I have learned to pay attention to my instincts and take notice when I feel anxious – to remove the pebble from my shoe before it blisters, get the chicken bone out of my throat – in short, to be mindful of feelings and emotions and work with them, not run from them.

Related Post . . . 8 Thoughts on Living Well  … What If The Wholesome Words Were Bleeped?

LAUGH MORE

What do you want? We usually answer with some material object. Imagine If we said something like a better state of mind, or togetherness, or simply to be surrounded by laughter.

Sitting here alone is satisfying enough, but the night would be far better if shared with another-with someone whose mood meets mine, who relishes moments, whose wonder remains untainted, who appreciates simple things and says so, who laughs much, indulges heartily, is spontaneous in spirit, is quick to embrace, and sees joy as a duty.

Related Posts . . . Finding Laughter – What I Learned From a Funny Friend … Laughter Quiz  Laughter Has My Gratitude

LIVE A FULL LIFE

I am no longer just passing through the world, but digging deep and collecting moments.

“Vital lives are about action,” Joan Erickson tells me. You can’t feel warmth unless you create it, can’t feel delight unless you play, can’t know serendipity unless you risk.” I’m trying to bring more of the spontaneous beach back to the cottage and incorporate it into my everyday life.

I must live a little each day, watch the sun as it rises and revel in its setting, swim naked, sip coffee and wine by the shore, generate new ideas, admire myself, talk to animals, meditate, laugh, risk adventures

Related  Posts . . . Live in the Day: a To-Do List … How 20 Wishes List from Fictional Book Helps Me Live Today … Do More Than Count Blessings, Be a Blessing

CHOOSE TO AGE WELL

Pam with Christmas Lights

“Why am I more cautious as I age instead of the other way around? I wonder if it’s all tied in to failure. I tend to forget my gains and remember only the losses. The failures have piled up, wreaking havoc with my confidence until, as an adult, I’ve become afraid to take chances.”

“I’m coming to see that life is not a lesser thing than I imagined it to be,” I say, thinking out loud just now. “Rather, it holds more than I have time to seize. The big secret is that everything doesn’t happen in youth.”

Related Posts . . . Singles Thanksgiving Bucket List … 3 Ways to Encourage Others Year Round … 16 Ways to Comfort Yourself

Your Turn . . .  

  • What quote from this book strikes you and why?
  • What’s on your summer reading list?
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What Does it Take to be a Good Friend?

In order to be a good friend certain skills must be developed and used in the sharing of life with one another. These skills include . . .

  • Being genuinely interested in others,
  • Having fun together,
  • Trustworthiness (in actions and words),
  • Being positive,
  • Encouraging,
  • Merciful,
  • Focusing on the strengths of the person,
  • Minimizing weaknesses in your friend,
  • Setting and following good boundaries,
  • Sharing your own thoughts, feelings and needs on a regular basis,
  • and when necessary rebuking and forgiving others in gentleness and love.

This sharing involves having something in common beyond ourselves. These areas are location, interests, needs and feelings. I also look at the other person’s integrity and religious views. The more we have in common across these areas, the more intimate the relationship will be.

In the past my relationships have tended to be one-sided where I did most of the listening and helping. In other words, I was more like a counselor than a friend. People would say that I was their best friend, but I did not have reciprocal feelings because I had not equally shared my needs and feelings. I am no longer content with having these types of relationships for the majority of my relationships. So, I have been forcing myself to take my turn at sharing (with safe people of course).

Instead of always turning the conversation away from me, I’ve been staying on my topic (about a need or feeling) until I am done. Or I take a risk and come back to that topic until it is resolved. My safe people have surprised me with how much they love and like me and encourage me in truth-telling. I have shared my difficulty with some of  these people so they help me stay on topic as well. Not only have I felt much closer to these folks, I have found some resolution for some issues as well. In addition, they have said that they feel closer to me too.

Your Turn . . .

  1. Do you have good friends to share your life with?
  2. What do you think it takes to be a good friend?
  3. Which trait(s) do you especially value?
  4. What are you doing to grow in your ability to be a good friend?

Related Posts . . .

  1. 10 Things I Like About My Best Friend
  2. 15 Things Real Friends Do Differently (from Marc and Angel Hack Life)
  3. 25 Ways to be a Friend (From Chasing Blue Skies blog)
  4. Do You Have a Highlight in Your Life?
  5. Get Busy Making Some History With a Friend
  6. There Can Be No Trust When Perfection is Your Goal

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Friday’s Favourite’s – 9/17/2010

I have been living life more intentionally these past few weeks. Now that I participate in Friday’s Fave Five,  I pause throughout the week to savour the moments of blessings as they occur. One reason I do that is so I will remember what happened so that I can share on Friday. To share your blessings go to Living To Tell The Story to link your post.

1. Friends. This week I spent time with a woman I’ve known for several years. She is a young mom with four children. Her life has been very different from mine in regards to culture, familial relationships, and religion. Her life, at times, has been difficult, but she perseveres. She laughs, loves and listens to me. And I listen to her. We are friends.

This week I also spent time with a woman who I am getting to know. Her background and culture are also different from mine. But we are the same in our devotion to our family and our ministry. Her eyes sparkle when she talks about her little guy and her husband. She is devoted to her pre-k students (in Sunday school.) We also shared laughter and conversation. I am going to like developing this friendship.

2. Secret Friends. The Secret Sister Program at CNC concluded last Saturday with a Reveal brunch. The 35 participants were able to find out who was praying for them these past 6 months. The woman (Barbie) who prayed for me also became a new friend because she was new member of our women’s ministry team. We’ve been doing things together, like kayaking and eating from recipes that she just has to try. I never knew that she was my secret sis! While this is mainly a prayer ministry, Barbie’s notes, and little gifts, like fresh cherries and popcorn, were thoughtful, inexpensive, and made me feel liked and appreciated. I loved knowing that someone was praying for me daily!

3. Alumni Friends. Thursday I talked to two students who graduated with me from William Jessup University. We went through the 2 year program in the same cohort. Van was at my church on Thursday doing a bike tune-up on our youth pastor’s bike. (I introduced them.) I get to catch up on news with Cindy next week. We graduated in 2006 and have hardly communicated with one another since. I hope today’s conversations change that lack with these two relationships and with the others in our cohort.

4. Preaching Class. Pastor Mike is teaching us about expository preaching. There is no agreement on a singular definition. We did agree that expository teaching is on the decline. Respect for the ministry is on the decline too. Hopefully our instruction will help us reverse these declines at least in our spheres of influence. I am so excited because my sista is going to join the class. That will make it 3 men and 2 women in the class.

5. Job interviews. My daughter went to SF this week for two job interviews. One was a framing shop and the other was a ceramics shop. Both interviews went well. DD should hear today whether she’s been hired at one or both places. I am praying that dd’s job search comes to an end soon and that the right job grabs her and hires her! I’d love to hear her carefree laughter again.

Your Turn

What blessings have you savoured this week?

Related Posts

Visit My daughter’s

Visit My  Sista’s Website: jennyarnez.com

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November 11 – Photo of the Day = Gratitude

nov 11 photo of the day 003

Sisters. I’m grateful for sisters in the Lord. 

Last night’s meeting with some of my women’s ministry sisters was productive & encouraging. We shared our concerns and gratitudes & ended with prayer.  

I am grateful for their friendship AND prayer support.

To all my sisters, you’ve got a friend in me. I’ll be there winter, spring, summer or fall. Call me.

 Previous Photos

Other Related Posts:

P.S. Ann Tatum is hosting 30 Days of Thanksgiving. She encourages us to daily share our gratitude. Click here and be sure to scroll to the bottom of the post and click on Mister Linky. Then you’ll be able  to read other participants on this thankful journey.

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10 Things I Like About My Best Friend

416459_friends_on_skates_when_you_need_a_hand_I meant to write the following list for Valentines Day. But the week around this love holiday holds sad feelings for me and I’m usually sad/depressed. Even though I don’t want to be. This year was no different.

Anyway, this post is dedicated to my best friend with love and thanks for helping me grow and get through my rough patches.

  1. She faithfully engages in prayer.
  2. She believes the best about me.
  3. She brings the silly and slightly naughty out in me. (We have fun together.)
  4. She likes herself.
  5. She is devoted to her family.
  6. She has an ongoing, growing, love/grace relationship with Jesus.
  7. She has a sense of humor.
  8. She is honest and vulnerable about her growth areas. (This makes her approachable.)
  9. She tells me when I am wrong or need growth in an area. (She gives godly counsel.)
  10. She loves me according to my love language.

 Your Turn  . . .  What are some things you like about your best friend?

Writing prompt is from here, Creativity Portal.

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