Choose the Complaint That Will Bring Peace
All complaints fall into one of two categories: Mindless and Justified.
Mindless complaining is problem focused.
- We vent, automatically respond with our own complaint after hearing other’s complain, and focus on trashing people, products, and companies.
- The cycle of negativity, hopelessness, pride, entitlement, and lack of compassion is perpetuated with no end in sight.
- The result is more anger, frustration, and ill will towards others or ourselves.
Justified complaining is solution oriented.
- It gives others’ the benefit of the doubt.
- We take stock of the situation and if there is something we can do, we do it. If there is nothing we can do, we let it go.
- We get off auto-pilot and take purposeful responsibility for our own negative attitudes and words.
- The results are satisfying resolutions and peace.
How to Get Out of This Cycle
“The best way to deal with negativity is to create a positive culture where negativity can’t breed, grow, and survive,” Jon Gordon
Jon Gordon in his book, The No Complaining Rule offers Three Suggestions.
- BUT. Anytime you catch yourself grumbling, add the word “but” at the end. Then complete the sentence with a positive solution or thought.
- I GET TO. Anytime you complain about all the stuff that overwhelms you, add these two words, I GET TO Do x, y, and z. Ditch the I Have To Do x, y, and z.
- SOLUTION FOCUSED. This is justified complaining. You look at the negative situation and come up with a purposeful, positive plan to solve the problem. Talk only to the folks who can help you with the solution.
“Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive,”Jon Gordon.
No Complaining Update: I am now on Day 7/21 of no complaining. I have even had a couple of situations where I purposefully came up with positive solutions. I made it a game and therefore, it was fun.
Your Turn . . .
- What do you think about the idea of Justified Complaining? This is a new concept to me and I like it because it gives me a way to handle those negative situations.
- Respond to this quote from Jon Gordon, ” I don’t like this or I am not happy about this. … What actions can I take to rectify this? Let your complaints tell you what you don’t want, so you can focus on what you do want.”
- What are your complaints telling you? What action will you take this week to bring PEACE into your life?
Related Resources . . .
- Read The No Complaining Rule by Jon Gordon. This quick to read and easily understood book will give you more ideas on how to adopt a No Complaint lifestyle. I used ideas from this book in this post.
- 31 Days of Finishing (2014 #Write31Days series)
- Finding Laughter (2015 #Write31Days series)
Today is Day 9 of the #Write31Days online October writing challenge. My topic is 31 Days of Fruitful Words INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING. I know I will be challenged in more ways than writing every day. If you’d like to have more fruitful words coming from your mouth, please join me from October 1-31, 2016.
Go here for the landing page which has all the posts from this series.
Go here to see what #Write31Days is all about, the categories and the bloggers who are participating.