Choose the Complaint That Will Bring Peace

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All complaints fall into one of two categories: Mindless and Justified.

Mindless complaining is problem focused.

  • We vent, automatically respond with our own complaint after hearing other’s complain, and focus on trashing people, products, and companies.
  • The cycle of negativity, hopelessness, pride, entitlement, and lack of compassion is perpetuated with no end in sight.
  • The result is more anger, frustration, and ill will towards others or ourselves.

Justified complaining is solution oriented.

  • It gives others’ the benefit of the doubt.
  • We take stock of the situation and if there is something we can do, we do it. If there is nothing we can do, we let it go.
  • We get off auto-pilot and take purposeful responsibility for our own negative attitudes and words.
  • The results are satisfying resolutions and peace.

How to Get Out of This Cycle

 “The best way to deal with negativity is to create a positive culture where negativity can’t breed, grow, and survive,” Jon Gordon

Jon Gordon in his book, The No Complaining Rule offers Three Suggestions.

  1. BUT. Anytime you catch yourself grumbling, add the word “but” at the end.  Then complete the sentence with a positive solution or thought.
  2. I GET TO. Anytime you complain about all the stuff that overwhelms you, add these two words, I GET TO Do x, y, and z. Ditch the I Have To Do x, y, and z.
  3. SOLUTION FOCUSED. This is justified complaining. You look at the negative situation and come up with a purposeful, positive plan to solve the problem. Talk only to the folks who can help you with the solution.

“Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive,”Jon Gordon.

No Complaining Update: I am now on Day 7/21 of no complaining. I have even had a couple of situations where I purposefully came up with positive solutions. I made it a game and therefore, it was fun.

Your Turn . . .

  • What do you think about the idea of Justified Complaining? This is a new concept to me and I like it because it gives me a way to handle those negative situations.
  • Respond to this quote from Jon Gordon, ” I don’t like this or I am not happy about this. … What actions can I take to rectify this?  Let your complaints tell you what you don’t want, so you can focus on what you do want.”
  • What are your complaints telling you? What action will you take this week to bring PEACE into your life?

Related Resources . . .

Today is Day 9 of the #Write31Days online October writing challenge. My topic is 31 Days of Fruitful Words INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING. I know I will be challenged in more ways than writing every day. If you’d like to have more fruitful words coming from your mouth, please join me from October 1-31, 2016.

Go here for the landing page which has all the posts from this series.

Go here to see what #Write31Days is all about, the categories and the bloggers who are participating.

Entry filed under: 31 Days of Writing, Main. Tags: , , , .

Why Do We Complain? Gratitude Bracelet Helps Stop Complaints

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